Thursday, December 30, 2010
This video has me thinking of so many questions...
Is the stereotype actually correct?
Why do some of these cars aim for the bicyclists?
When someone sees another person in front of them why don't they change direction?
Do they not have lights or a four way stop?
Why is looking both ways not a common occurance?
Well, here are some questions that are in their driving test. I love how an option for every answer is "I don't know." Based on this video it looks like you can pass the test just by checking that one off every time.
Watch out everyone that got a neck massager for Christmas could kill you!!! Dun Dun Duuuuuunnnnn...
In what I believe to be the dumbest death so far - a woman in Florida used the massager on her neck and it somehow got twisted up in her necklace causing her to lose conciousness and then die.
You go through your whole life of ups and downs, survive insurmountable obstacles and this is how it ends? Talk about sucky! Hope the massage was worth it.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Cynthia Colston of Florida didn't like her manicure and decided it was a good idea to call 911. After multiple calls to complain about her nails, then the "tardiness" of the officer and lastly to complain about said officer (sitting next to her) she was arrested. In the video interiew she is floored as to why she was arrested over something so minor. All I can think of is why on earth you would call 911 over something so minor?! The ironic thing is that she had to take the nails off when they locked her up. Good thing she didn't like the job anyway.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
And the most aptly named task force ever, award goes to...drum roll please....
Wikileaks Task Force a.k.a WTF
The CIA launched this task force to assess the damage that the 'outing' of diplomats has caused. Personally I could care less but how freaking cool would it be to flash a badge and say WTF mate?!
Before you go out and buy those toys for the good girls and boys, you may want to review "The Shrink Tank" which gives the top 10 Holiday Gifts that will cause them long lasting psychological issues. Crap, that explains soooo much!
Here are some of my favorites:
2. The Game of Life. Ah yes, there's nothing better than a board game reminding you that you could easily be condemned to a lifetime of underpaid salaries, house fires, bankruptcy and childlessness.
3. Fisher Price Medical Kit. Hypochondriacs rejoice! Now every cough, sniffle, or boo-boo can be treated as a major medical emergency.
7. Curious George. He's an impulsive monkey with a pathological lack of attachment anxiety. Do you really want your child emulating this behavior? Hopefully your insurance plan covers stimulant medication.
9. Tickle Me Elmo. Tickling a giggling furry creature is a sure-fire way to kick-start sexual fetishism.
10. Etch-a-sketch. Your child will spend hours working on a deeply meaningful artistic creation, only to have it wiped away at the slightest jostling. A psychologically devastating reminder of the ubiquity of loss and the ephemeral nature of existence. Also, no building sand castles on the beach.
For the whole top 10 you may read here and enjoy
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
So a sub-group of the anti-gay National Organization for Marraige has now taken up the task of reappropriating the rainbow because it is a major Christian symbol. The Founder and President, Dr. Jennifer Rodback Morse says that "the rainbow is a sign of God's covenant with man." She continues with, "Proposition 8 was passed by a great grassroots coalition that included people from all across the religious traditions, and also people of every race and color. We are the real rainbow coalition. The gay lobby does not own the rainbow.We can't simply let that go by. Families put rainbows in their children's nurseries. Little Christian preschools will have rainbows...Noah's Ark and all the animals.... Those are great Christian symbols, great Jewish symbols."
Morse lady, you are now on my list of seriously uninformed, right wing activists with way too much time on your hands. Especially after this enlightened quote you posted on your blog to any supporters of gay marraige:
"Do you really believe that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and that gender is irrelevant to parenting? If gender is really irrelevant, why do self-described "gays" insist on having a male sex partner? Why isn't a really masculine woman just as acceptable as a male sex partner?"
There are no words...
This is a 3 step system for ultimate personal confidence. Basically it's some type of deoderant, perfume, crystal tatoo thing to improve your sex life. I can't watch the whole thing, because it's horrible and most likely the worst infomercial I've ever seen. The women on here are probably the dumbest people on the planet and that includes George Bush. If a knock off crystal stick on makes you feel confident because it's some "dirty secret" then therapy is the place for you. I didn't even get around to finding out how much this cost but ladies do yourself a favor and go to your local drug store to buy these products if you feel it necessary.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Ah, yes, another style trend that I'm super excited about. These fringe tights....I literally just stopped typing for a few minutes trying to figure out words to say about them. I like Frisky's list of Pros and Cons so here it is below:
Pro: If you were bored at a work meeting, you could braid your hosiery’s hair.
Con: If your boss caught you braiding your hosiery’s hair at a work meeting, that might not work out well for you professionally.
Pro: Those luminous layers of fringe could draw attention to your great legs.
Con: The luminous fringe on your legs could make the hair on your head seem dull and limp by comparison.
Pro: In the winter it’s nice to relax your shaving routine and wear tights to cover the stubble.
Con: These tights make it look like you gave up shaving altogether. And popped some hair-growth pills. Sassy Sasquatch status.
Pro: Maybe the fringe would keep your legs warm? (I said maybe.)
Con: Have you ever seen those “Dateline” specials about people who have to get their legs amputated because their clothes got caught in an escalator? I feel like having a bunch of strings hanging off your lower leg is just begging for a terrifying escalator encounter.
Pro: When you shake your leg in these tights it kind of looks like a poodle trying to dry itself off. Which is kind of cute, I guess.
Con: Prepare to get your leg humped by every dog you meet.
Pro: You’ll be the only one on the block rocking $425 fringed tights.
Con: Holy crap, you guys, these tights cost $425.
Attention Gays! Any of you that will be attending the 2022 World Cup in Qatar must refrain from doing anything, well, gay.
That's Sepp Blatter's (the president of soccer's world govering body) solution to circumvent the laws in Qatar that make being gay illegal.
Thanks for lookin' out Sepp!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Insert furry joke here if you must but how awesome would this job be?! The Hetaoping Research and Conservation Center for the Giant Panda in Wolong National Nature Reserve breeds pandas and then tries to successfully integrate them into the forest and bring them back from extinction - all while wearing a panda suit.
Goodbye yound panda and good luck!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Confession: for someone who has been madly in love with Ryan Gosling since his days on the Mickey Mouse Club, then Breaker High (how many of you even know what that is?!) I had no idea this site exhisted and now that I do I'm a bit obsessed!
Here's Ryan in his day to day life and how he thinks of me always...
Here's Ryan in his day to day life and how he thinks of me always...
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
First off, may I say that I love the fact that there is such thing as a "felony mayhem" charge! What were you arrested for again? Mayhem, huh? That sounds fun!
Anyways Crazy here was sitting on the toilet humming Christmas songs/ reciting odd Bible versus when she kissed her husband and bit his tongue off whilst grabbing his junk. I take it she's proud because of her bright smile she shows off in her mug shot.
Who kisses someone on the toilet? That's my private time thank you very much! As far as I'm concerned he deserved it! Muhahaha, mayhem!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Watch the outrage!
Gretchen, stop resting your chin to your fist, you look like an idiot - although if you do take this advice you should go one step further and shut the f up. As Jon pointed out, "Christmas survived the Roman Empire, I think it can handle the renaming of the Tulsa Parade."
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Can I just say that this is the best mugshot of all time! Poor Art Taylor, he forgot to signal and was pulled over, then decided to copy a scene from Super Troopers in which he swallowed an entire bag of cocaine. Hence the awesome photo which has totally made my day!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
No ladies, this is not a vibrator...it's even better! This is a tampon/tazer for any would be rapists out there! Just stand 7-10 feet away, push some kind of button then watch the prongs spring out from your lady parts and get the bastard! Oh wait, you're not supposed to put them up there? Ok scratch that last part, still you can still taze the guy with 50,000 volts and hopefully make him pee his pants!
The Book-Banners are getting more organized now. Instead of single crazies we now have groups of crazies such as Parents Against Bad Books in Schools. So what makes a book bad? In PABBIS' view it's all relative, "Bad is not for us to determine. Bad is what you determine is bad. Bad is what you think is bad for your child. What each parent considers bad varies and depends on their unique situation, family and values. The main purpose of this webpage is to identify some books that might be considered bad and why someone might consider them bad." Umm...
Their bad books include ones by Judy Blume, Chinua Achebe, James Michener, Pat Conroy, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, J.D. Salinger, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Truman Capote, Leon Uris, Richard Wright, Cormac McCarthy.
Relativism is bullshit people - go read a book why don't ya! And P.S. Judy Blume taught me about my period so you guys can can it!
I just love this story! Two women from Oklahoma unsuccessfully stole from TJ Maxx. They tried to hide the items in their rolls of body fat. Good thing they tried after Thanksgiving to hide more merchandise - I feel like I could have helped. So what did they manage to take? Four pairs of boots, three pairs of jeans, a wallet, gloves and a partridge in a pear tree (ok, not the last one). All of this totaling $2,600. Uh, you mean to tell me that all of those items cost that much at TJ Maxx? I think someone's padding the books there a bit. I can get that much loot from Target for way less and TJM is a poor man's Ross! Anyways another reason why I love this story aside from Shmeco's photo here is the officer trying to explain what happened. Oh lordy, I could watch this over and over again!
Well I can cross working in Norway off my list! A study has found that Norwegian bosses are nuts when it comes to bathroom breaks.
"It found 66 per cent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks.
Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet 'visitors book', the report by the Parat union said.
It added: 'But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo."First off I'm not wearin a red bracelet for no man, and secondly why would someone want to watch me poo? Creepy!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Pentagon has officially released the 267 page study on whether or not repealing DADT will destroy our military. And surprise! Most solidiers don't give a hoot.
The only odd statistic found was that 26% of spouses are worried that if it is repealed, there will be a bunch of gay sex going on...I think the questioning of one's partner's sexuiality is a much bigger issue than DADT but that's just my opinion.
And in true form the Republicans are demanding more hearings and "comprehensive oversight" of this study most likely to slow the process down until they take over and squash this gay thing all together.
Chris Voigt is now my hero! He's the head of the Washington State Potato Commission and he wants to bring awarness to the government programs that limit the use of potatoes due to their nutrition factor. So what did he do? He ate nothing but potatoes for a month and ended up losing 21 pounds and 67 points of cholestoral! Somebody get me a potato now!
Monday, November 29, 2010
What's a TurDurkin you ask? It's a combo Thanksgiving turkey and sweet donut treat. The turkey is stuffed with bacon and Munchkins stuffing and then basted with donut glaze. It’s then coated in donut sprinkles and served alongside coffee gravy and mashed hash browns (to get the full breakfast turkey effect).
I think I've passed out from just looking at the thing!
Angeles Duran, a 49 year old Spanish woman now owns the sun. Yup you read that right. She had the star registered on Friday at a local notary as being her property.
There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it does not say anything about individuals.
"There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first."
Duran now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation's pension fund. She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger -- and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself.
I can see it now, you have a couple choices of a "sun plan", restricted and unlimited use and will pay overrage charges and will have rollover sun minutes.
She ended with, "It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people's well-being, why not do it?"
Lady, I'm not going to pay for the sun. However I wonder if an individual can take ownership of air?... I'd be a billionaire!