Thursday, December 30, 2010

Chinese traffic accidents



This video has me thinking of so many questions...

Is the stereotype actually correct?

Why do some of these cars aim for the bicyclists?

When someone sees another person in front of them why don't they change direction?

Do they not have lights or a four way stop?

Why is looking both ways not a common occurance?

Well, here are some questions that are in their driving test. I love how an option for every answer is "I don't know." Based on this video it looks like you can pass the test just by checking that one off every time.

Neck Massagers lead to death


Watch out everyone that got a neck massager for Christmas could kill you!!! Dun Dun Duuuuuunnnnn...

In what I believe to be the dumbest death so far - a woman in Florida used the massager on her neck and it somehow got twisted up in her necklace causing her to lose conciousness and then die.

Seriously?!...

You go through your whole life of ups and downs, survive insurmountable obstacles and this is how it ends? Talk about sucky! Hope the massage was worth it.

Skymall's greatest product to date


I must get this immediately to help me ring in the New Year! I knew Skymall had to be good for something!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Woman Arrested for Calling 911 to complain about her Manicure



Cynthia Colston of Florida didn't like her manicure and decided it was a good idea to call 911. After multiple calls to complain about her nails, then the "tardiness" of the officer and lastly to complain about said officer (sitting next to her) she was arrested. In the video interiew she is floored as to why she was arrested over something so minor. All I can think of is why on earth you would call 911 over something so minor?! The ironic thing is that she had to take the nails off when they locked her up. Good thing she didn't like the job anyway.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

W.T.F


And the most aptly named task force ever, award goes to...drum roll please....

Wikileaks Task Force a.k.a WTF

Bwahahaha

The CIA launched this task force to assess the damage that the 'outing' of diplomats has caused. Personally I could care less but how freaking cool would it be to flash a badge and say WTF mate?!

Gifts that keep on giving...phychological problems...


Before you go out and buy those toys for the good girls and boys, you may want to review "The Shrink Tank" which gives the top 10 Holiday Gifts that will cause them long lasting psychological issues. Crap, that explains soooo much!

Here are some of my favorites:

2. The Game of Life.  Ah yes, there's nothing better than a board game reminding you that you could easily be condemned to a lifetime of underpaid salaries, house fires, bankruptcy and childlessness.

3. Fisher Price Medical Kit.  Hypochondriacs rejoice!  Now every cough, sniffle, or boo-boo can be treated as a major medical emergency.

7. Curious George.  He's an impulsive monkey with a pathological lack of attachment anxiety.  Do you really want your child emulating this behavior?  Hopefully your insurance plan covers stimulant medication.

9. Tickle Me Elmo. Tickling a giggling furry creature is a sure-fire way to kick-start sexual fetishism.

10. Etch-a-sketch. Your child will spend hours working on a deeply meaningful artistic creation, only to have it wiped away at the slightest jostling.  A psychologically devastating reminder of the ubiquity of loss and the ephemeral nature of existence.  Also, no building sand castles on the beach.

For the whole top 10 you may read here and enjoy

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Senate Votes to Repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell

custom_1292705520507_dadt.jpg

It's a Christmas miracle!! The final count was 65 yay, 31 nay. Now all that's left is a signature  from Obama and history is made. This made my day!

Friday, December 17, 2010

New work out



I shall once again be making the New Year's resolution to lose weight however this is one way I will not be trying to accomplish my goal.

Probably the creepiest work out tape ever...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Best Maxi-Pad Ad Ever!

A Gay Soldier's Letter Before Deployment

I found this today and was very moved. I think people on the other side of this debate don't think of the personal toll it takes on those who would die and have died for them even when they won't allow those soldiers to be who they are.

A Gay Soldier's Letter Before Leaving For Afghanistan

I'm writing letters to my loved ones in case I don't return from Afghanistan. I hope my partner never has to open his. If he does, it will ask him to tell who I was, because I couldn't.
I was a teenager when my brother came home with an American flag draped over his coffin, so I understand the fragility of life and the dangers of serving. And the additional burden of Don't Ask, Don't Tell is one I choose to carry. I volunteered for deployment, and I continue to serve. It's my deepest core value, whatever the cost.
The silence is the hardest part. I listen intently as my fellow soldiers talk about facing the reality of leaving their loved ones for a year and all the life events that will be missed. I don't talk about my own experience at all, because it's easier to come across as cold and removed than to risk slipping and mentioning that my loved one is of the same gender. For all I know, there are other gay soldiers in my unit, ones who understand what I'm going through. My gay friends in civilian life are supportive, but they don't often understand the military or soldiering. That camouflage is another burden I carry as I prepare to leave.
It's also difficult knowing that this policy is nothing more than politics. I try not to think too much about DADT and how destructive it is to peoples' lives, to military units, readiness, and to the progression of our country to a better place. But when I do let myself think about these things, I seethe with anger.
I am angry at the politicians who have for several years talked the talk on the policy, heightening the awareness of homosexuality among military personnel, and then done little to nothing to actually change it. We gay soldiers are the ones who suffer but can't openly participate in the debate.
I am angry at certain senators -– John McCain comes to mind –- who have obviously lost touch with any understanding of the current generation of service men and women, who, as we all know, support repeal at overwhelming numbers. They hide behind a vitriolic rhetoric fraught with illogical arguments and innuendo, smothered by their obvious fear.
And so we wait to see what the Senate will do. In the meantime, I have to remind myself to look elsewhere for comfort, to remember the courage of people like Dan Choi and his consistent devotion to changing this policy, at a very personal cost. Or Katie Miller, who made public at West Point who she really is, but would seek return the moment the policy is overturned. I also remind myself of the moral courage of Secretary Gates and Admiral Mullen, thankful that some at the highest level of military leadership get it even as others call our plight a "distraction."
And I'm reminded of the moral courage of my partner, who encourages me everyday to continue to put on that uniform; who believes that some things are worthy of our energies; who quietly plods along and prepares for my deployment as I do the same. I know as a soldier, it is the people we leave behind who bear the real brunt of deployment, who hold it all together, who send the care packages and pray for our returns. He'll have to do it on his own though. There are no support groups for the gay partners left back home.
In the meantime, gay soldiers who are still serving in silence will continue to put on our rucksacks and do what our country asks of us –- and wait.


Read more: http://jezebel.com/5713948/a-gay-soldiers-letter-before-leaving-for-afghanistan#ixzz18JdastLi

If Web Browsers Were Celebrities

via Kurt White

I prefer Samuel Jackson

Gays, we want our rainbow back!


So a sub-group of the anti-gay National Organization for Marraige has now taken up the task of reappropriating the rainbow because it is a major Christian symbol. The Founder and President, Dr. Jennifer Rodback Morse says that "the rainbow is a sign of God's covenant with man." She continues with, "Proposition 8 was passed by a great grassroots coalition that included people from all across the religious traditions, and also people of every race and color. We are the real rainbow coalition. The gay lobby does not own the rainbow.We can't simply let that go by. Families put rainbows in their children's nurseries. Little Christian preschools will have rainbows...Noah's Ark and all the animals.... Those are great Christian symbols, great Jewish symbols."

Morse lady, you are now on my list of seriously uninformed, right wing activists with way too much time on your hands. Especially after this enlightened quote you posted on your blog to any supporters of gay marraige:

"Do you really believe that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and that gender is irrelevant to parenting? If gender is really irrelevant, why do self-described "gays" insist on having a male sex partner? Why isn't a really masculine woman just as acceptable as a male sex partner?"

There are no words...

Anti-Abortion threat letter

This is probably the creepiest anti-abortion threat letter I've seen. Who sends death threats on children's stationary? Oh excuse me, it's not a threat, he's just praying for justice.

Anti-Abortion Threats, Now With Hearts And Rainbows!

Tajazzle Infomercial (Part 1/2)



This is a 3 step system for ultimate personal confidence. Basically it's some type of deoderant, perfume, crystal tatoo thing to improve your sex life. I can't watch the whole thing, because it's horrible and most likely the worst infomercial I've ever seen. The women on here are probably the dumbest people on the planet and that includes George Bush. If a knock off crystal stick on makes you feel confident because it's some "dirty secret" then therapy is the place for you. I didn't even get around to finding out how much this cost but ladies do yourself a favor and go to your local drug store to buy these products if you feel it necessary.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Fringe Tights

Photo of Wolford Fringe Tights

Ah, yes, another style trend that I'm super excited about. These fringe tights....I literally just stopped typing for a few minutes trying to figure out words to say about them. I like Frisky's list of Pros and Cons so here it is below:

Pro: If you were bored at a work meeting, you could braid your hosiery’s hair.
Con: If your boss caught you braiding your hosiery’s hair at a work meeting, that might not work out well for you professionally.

Pro: Those luminous layers of fringe could draw attention to your great legs.
Con: The luminous fringe on your legs could make the hair on your head seem dull and limp by comparison.

Pro: In the winter it’s nice to relax your shaving routine and wear tights to cover the stubble.
Con: These tights make it look like you gave up shaving altogether. And popped some hair-growth pills. Sassy Sasquatch status.

Pro: Maybe the fringe would keep your legs warm? (I said maybe.)
Con: Have you ever seen those “Dateline” specials about people who have to get their legs amputated because their clothes got caught in an escalator? I feel like having a bunch of strings hanging off your lower leg is just begging for a terrifying escalator encounter.

Pro: When you shake your leg in these tights it kind of looks like a poodle trying to dry itself off. Which is kind of cute, I guess.
Con: Prepare to get your leg humped by every dog you meet.

Pro: You’ll be the only one on the block rocking $425 fringed tights.
Con: Holy crap, you guys, these tights cost $425.

Provo, UT Girls - BYU Divine Comedy



Love!

How to make a suit from a carrot

via Kurt White

Seriously though, this might come in handy some day

No Gay Sex at the World Cup

No Gay Sex at the World Cup

Attention Gays! Any of you that will be attending the 2022 World Cup in Qatar must refrain from doing anything, well, gay.

That's Sepp Blatter's (the president of soccer's world govering body) solution to circumvent the laws in Qatar that make being gay illegal.

Thanks for lookin' out Sepp!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Panda!

Splash News

Insert furry joke here if you must but how awesome would this job be?! The Hetaoping Research and Conservation Center for the Giant Panda in Wolong National Nature Reserve breeds pandas and then tries to successfully integrate them into the forest and bring them back from extinction - all while wearing a panda suit.

Goodbye yound panda and good luck!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Graphs of the day:

The Graphvella
via Erin and euphamismimplied

via resimulated & savvymac
Xmas is coming guys…just sayin’

The New Orleans Lover

Blame it on the Voices

George's "friends" paid for this billboard. It's certainly a unique approach, although telling people who ask how you met might be a bit awkward.

Pimpin Ain't Easy

That's why this pimp has a "business plan" that includes important rules/ goals such as, "Take care my bitches more better" and "set-up a international operation."



Friday, December 10, 2010

Bloody Suitcase

Bloody Suitcase Full of Dead Animals Arrives at Dulles Airport


Oh, lovely, the contents of this confiscated suitcase include elephant tails, dried chameleons, bloody sheets, chicken blood, dirt, feathers and a dried hedgehog. Apparently they were for "spiritual purposes." Yikes! 

Hand Job - Better Than Nothin'

The Daily What

Yet another example of poor marketing.

NZT- The Clear Pill



Bradley Cooper shows us his secret to success...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling

Confession: for someone who has been madly in love with Ryan Gosling since his days on the Mickey Mouse Club, then Breaker High (how many of you even know what that is?!) I had no idea this site exhisted and now that I do I'm a bit obsessed!

Here's Ryan in his day to day life and how he thinks of me always...

   

     

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Bite your tongue!


First off, may I say that I love the fact that there is such thing as a "felony mayhem" charge! What were you arrested for again? Mayhem, huh? That sounds fun!

Anyways Crazy here was sitting on the toilet humming Christmas songs/ reciting odd Bible versus when she kissed her husband and bit his tongue off whilst grabbing his junk. I take it she's proud because of her bright smile she shows off in her mug shot.

Who kisses someone on the toilet? That's my private time thank you very much! As far as I'm concerned he deserved it! Muhahaha, mayhem!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

BEST Gifts Ever through the years

...they forgot Polly Pockets and I would much prefer and iPad than an iPhone 4

How the word Holiday ruined Christmas

Click here to read Jon Stewart Mocks Fox News' Gretchen Carlson for Her "War on Christmas" Outrage

Watch the outrage!

Gretchen, stop resting your chin to your fist, you look like an idiot - although if you do take this advice you should go one step further and shut the f up. As Jon pointed out, "Christmas survived the Roman Empire, I think it can handle the renaming of the Tulsa Parade."

Prenatal Pole Dancing

Click here to read Christina Applegate's Pregnant Pole Dancing

Here's an infomercial that will not convince me to buy it unless it's strictly for entertainment value

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Second Coming Sale

Apparently with Jesus' second coming just around the corner, it's time for you to buy some jewelery at 50% off!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Family

ifoundareason:

Just a few examples.

Smile!

This Man Swallowed An Entire Bag Of Cocaine

Can I just say that this is the best mugshot of all time! Poor Art Taylor, he forgot to signal and was pulled over, then decided to copy a scene from Super Troopers in which he swallowed an entire bag of cocaine. Hence the awesome photo which has totally made my day!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Page from UPS Manual

Tampon Tazer

InventorSpot


No ladies, this is not a vibrator...it's even better! This is a tampon/tazer for any would be rapists out there! Just stand 7-10 feet away, push some kind of button then watch the prongs spring out from your lady parts and get the bastard! Oh wait, you're not supposed to put them up there? Ok scratch that last part, still you can still taze the guy with 50,000 volts and hopefully make him pee his pants!

Crazy Book-Banners

Book-Banning Loons Really Getting Organized

The Book-Banners are getting more organized now. Instead of single crazies we now have groups of crazies such as Parents Against Bad Books in Schools. So what makes a book bad? In PABBIS' view it's all relative, "Bad is not for us to determine. Bad is what you determine is bad. Bad is what you think is bad for your child. What each parent considers bad varies and depends on their unique situation, family and values. The main purpose of this webpage is to identify some books that might be considered bad and why someone might consider them bad." Umm...
Their bad books include ones by Judy Blume, Chinua Achebe, James Michener, Pat Conroy, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, J.D. Salinger, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Truman Capote, Leon Uris, Richard Wright, Cormac McCarthy.

Relativism is bullshit people - go read a book why don't ya! And P.S. Judy Blume taught me about my period so you guys can can it!

I just love this story! Two women from Oklahoma unsuccessfully stole from TJ Maxx. They tried to hide the items in their rolls of body fat. Good thing they tried after Thanksgiving to hide more merchandise - I feel like I could have helped. So what did they manage to take? Four pairs of boots, three pairs of jeans, a wallet, gloves and a partridge in a pear tree (ok, not the last one). All of this totaling $2,600. Uh, you mean to tell me that all of those items cost that much at TJ Maxx? I think someone's padding the books there a bit. I can get that much loot from Target for way less and TJM is a poor man's Ross! Anyways another reason why I love this story aside from Shmeco's photo here is the officer trying to explain what happened. Oh lordy, I could watch  this  over and over again!

Creepy Norwegian Bosses

Boss Makes Female Employees Wear Red Bracelets During Their Periods

Well I can cross working in Norway off my list! A study has found that Norwegian bosses are nuts when it comes to bathroom breaks.

"It found 66 per cent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks.
Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet 'visitors book', the report by the Parat union said.
It added: 'But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo."
First off I'm not wearin a red bracelet for no man, and secondly why would someone want to watch me poo? Creepy!

COD4 and Diapers

Some People Really Need to Stop Playing Games From Time to Time

Now here's what I call dedication! As a person with a nerd boyfriend, I'm hoping this doesn't give him any ideas :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Survey Says...

'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal Really Wouldn't Bother Troops

The Pentagon has officially released the 267 page study on whether or not repealing DADT will destroy our military. And surprise! Most solidiers don't give a hoot.

'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal Really Wouldn't Bother Troops

The only odd statistic found was that 26% of spouses are worried that if it is repealed, there will be a bunch of gay sex going on...I think the questioning of one's partner's sexuiality is a much bigger issue than DADT but that's just my opinion.

And in true form the Republicans are demanding more hearings and "comprehensive oversight" of this study most likely to slow the process down until they take over and squash this gay thing all together.

The Potato Diet

Bizarre Man Ends Bizarre 60-Day Potato Diet

Chris Voigt is now my hero! He's the head of the Washington State Potato Commission and he wants to bring awarness to the government programs that limit the use of potatoes due to their nutrition factor. So what did he do? He ate nothing but potatoes for a month and ended up losing 21 pounds and 67 points of cholestoral! Somebody get me a potato now! 

Mankinis?!


Uh... How does one wear this and not curl up in the fetal position of embarassment? Hold on, I think my eyes are bleeding...

TSA Missed Connections

Monday, November 29, 2010

I miss you

TurDunkin

Just when you thought America couldn't come up with anything worse food wise, we are introduced to the TurDurkin!

What's a TurDurkin you ask? It's a combo Thanksgiving turkey and sweet donut treat. The turkey is stuffed with bacon and Munchkins stuffing and then basted with donut glaze. It’s then coated in donut sprinkles and served alongside coffee gravy and mashed hash browns (to get the full breakfast turkey effect).

I think I've passed out from just looking at the thing!

Spanish Woman Owns the Sun


Angeles Duran, a 49 year old Spanish woman now owns the sun. Yup you read that right. She had the star registered on Friday at a local notary as being her property.

There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it does not say anything about individuals.
"There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first."

Duran now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation's pension fund. She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger -- and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself.

I can see it now, you have a couple choices of a "sun plan", restricted and unlimited use and will pay overrage charges and will have rollover sun minutes.

She ended with, "It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people's well-being, why not do it?"

Lady, I'm not going to pay for the sun. However I wonder if an individual can take ownership of air?... I'd be a billionaire!