Don't even get me started on the WASL!

via wordshaker

Cockfight turns deadly

A California man died last week as a result of stab wounds from his rooster. The man had attached a knife to the rooster for a cockfight but in a twist of poetic justice the man ended up sliced by his own bird.

National Crystal Meth Hallucination League episode One

Pick Up Artists are just Misunderstood

Please stop the stereotype that all pick up artists are only in it to get laid! It's very hurtful to this PUA Community. And ladies, good luck with this temptation!

Yet Another Unfortunate Headline - Pun Intended

Behold! The Nicholas Cage Matrix

"We need a Christian Dictator"

I got this video from the Christian Nightmares blog. Michael Voris of Real Catholic TV is some douche that likes to hear himself speak. He believes that "only virtuous people should be allowed to vote." We should choose what God wants so the barbarians won't take over like they did in Europe. Does that make any sense at all?

But mainly I love how he calls me an ignorant person for what I believe in when here I am thinking the same thing about him (and judging from the comments below the video, I'm not the only one).

Classy

Rape-rape

Finally! Someone speaks out for "Forcible Rape!" It's really rape-rape that we should care about and all those sad, underaged, drugged, mentally incapacited, incest victims can stop getting a free ride on our tax payer dollars...

Once again the Daily Show puts it all in perspective when Kristen Schaal covers the Repbulican bill to stop our taxes from paying for women that were "rape-ished" and need an abortion. I mean come on, .02 cents from me is way too much to ask for!

Thankfully due to whole awkward issue of redefining rape on the House floor the Republicans dropped that language from the bill.

"The word forcible will be replaced with the original language from the Hyde Amendment," Jeff Sagnip, spokesman for bill sponsor Chris Smith (R-N.J.), said. One senior GOP aide told Huddle it's a no-brainer to get rid of the modifier. "Such a removal would be a good idea, since last I checked, rape by definition is non-consensual," the aide said.

Unfortunately the bill still remains so stay tuned.

How to respond to new Facebook Posts

'Nice Tits' Heart Candy

Oops! Beware of adult messages on the popular heart candy, they could be consumed by your 12 year old daughter.

Desperation

Come on ladies, you know you want this!

There's Rape, and there's Forcible Rape

Here's a great piece of new legislation by th GOP to repeal the Democrate's health care reform law called the "No Taxpayer funded Abortion Act." Keep in mind this has been outlawed since 1976 but the debate flaired up again with the health care reform on what taxpayers would be responsible for. Now there have been exceptions for abortions that are eligible for federal funding such as cases of rape, incest or when the mother's life is endangered. And this is what the GOP is fighting against. Enter the term "forcible rape."

You might be asking yourself, "what kind of rape isn't forced?" Well I have an answer for you!

"With this legislation, which was introduced last week by Rep. Chris Smith (R-N.J.), Republicans propose that the rape exemption be limited to "forcible rape." This would rule out federal assistance for abortions in many rape cases, including instances of statutory rape, many of which are non-forcible. For example: If a 13-year-old girl is impregnated by a 24-year-old adult, she would no longer qualify to have Medicaid pay for an abortion. (Smith's spokesman did not respond to a call and an email requesting comment.)
[...]
Other types of rapes that would no longer be covered by the exemption include rapes in which the woman was drugged or given excessive amounts of alcohol, rapes of women with limited mental capacity, and many date rapes. As for the incest exception, the bill would only allow federally funded abortions if the woman is under 18."

Is your jaw on the floor? Mine is. I love how their number one priority is a collection of cells and not the actual people that are fully living their lives, struck by a horrible tragedy and just looking for help. It's sad to hope for any girl that is raped by a family member is lucky enough to be under 18 so she would be covered.

Suicide By Bear

Now here's a creative way to go out! Tracy Province a convicted killer who escaped prison in Arizona this past summer was tired of being on the lam. He decided to commit suicide and came up with the craziest way to do it.

1. Go to Yellowstone Natural Park
2. OD on Heroin
3. Get eaten by a bear

Too bad 'devine intervention' stepped in and he chose to live - that and it was just too damn cold, cuz that's the number one thing you worry about when becoming bear food.

"Happy New Year" text kills woman

Apparently suicide bombers are all about text messages these days. The trick is to keep the cell phone off until you're in the intended target area, cuz a simple 'wat up?' could blow you to pieces for nothing. This is what happened to some Russian chick, on her way to bomb a busy square of New Year party goers. Luckily a text 'Happy New Year' text came in from her service provider which caused her to explode before reaching her destination. No one else was hurt or killed.

Woman Claims Yogurt Tastes like Semen

A woman in New Mexico called the police because she thought the sample of yogurt given to her tasted like manly bodily fluids. Guuuuurrrross! The cops arrested Anthony Garcia on outstanding bench warrents and are currently tested said yogurt for semen. Boy is that lady gonna be embarrased if it only tasted like it meaning she knows it well enough to recognize.

P.S. This is why I hate yogurt!

Mini Penis

As far as unfortunate tattoos go - this is a doozee! This is how much Andreas Muller wanted a free Mini Cooper. In order to do so he needed to tattoo "Mini" on his peen.

“Once I’m sitting in the car, it won’t matter anymore. Then the pain will be gone and it’ll be alright,” he said.

Ok Andreas, pain aside you will have that on you FOREVER, and will have to suffer the humiliation with that word, every time you drop your pants. Way to think it through bud.

Public Urination

As my late cousin would say, "just pee on it." And while that's great advice you must first take into account whether or not you are a fugitive.

Edward Nathan Jr. had to pee and he wasn't about to find a restroom. Unfortunately for him, he was arrested for public urination. That's when the cops took his finger prints to find out that he had been on the run for nearly 30 years after escaping the Tampa Community Correctional Center in 1983.

At least now, he'll always know where to find a bathroom.

I do so Fuck you

This British ad was apparently created "to make people reappraise marriage as the number of British people marrying drops to its lowest level since 1862."

Apparently making marraige "bad ass" is the only way they could come up with to make it the 'in' thing to do. Um, don't you think this is a good thing though that marraige is dropping? To me, it means that people are actually taking commitment serioiusly. And if the British really want to up their marraige rates then let the gays do it - I promise it would not only increase the rate but help the economy.

Party Flaws